Another blog

Has anybody else ever noticed, or experienced, the insane growth speed of grass?
I know, it never really occurs to most people to watch their grass grow. It’s even sometimes used as an analogy for boredom, but in some very rare cases, I’ve found it can be quite an adventure.

So, my lawn measured 17 inches tall in some places on wednesday. The average height was closer to 10 inches, though. Either way, this was obviously getting out of hand, so I decided to cut it.

After having mowed it to the ground, I quickly cleaned up and went on with my life, like the normal kind of guy I try hard to pretend to almost be.

By the time friday rolled around I couldn’t help but notice that my grass was, once again, incredibly tall. My parents would be getting notice’s from the city before long. So I had to have some kind of explination.

The speed of growth went beyond the, I assumed, boundaries of nature.
For two days I struggled, saturday had been fruitless. Sunday, on the other hand, proved nearly disasterous. Not so much of another hand, I guess.

I had done everything I could think of, I tested the soil for growth hormones. I had read about those being injected into american food, and that had made many of those people grow insanely fast. No luck there. I checked to see if evolutionary scientists had any information about exceeding growth rates. No luck there, I just got a lecture about the earbone of a specific species of rat.

Among other things, I tried to develope a testing method to find out if a improbability drive was running under my lawn, or something. For this I used an electromagnetic field detector. That always seemed to work in the X-files.
To my suprise, I found a very large electromagnectic field.

To my greater suprise, it moo’d at me.
You would think that would’ve been a first hint, but due to a mild anxiety about my own sanity, I didn’t trust my own ears.

I brought out my handy ghost-busters detectomatic. Hadn’t used that since I was a kid, so I replaced the batteries and turned it on. My sanity was, for now, not in absolute danger. A herd of ghost cows were in my lawn.

A herd of ghost cows was in my lawn, and I was talking about my sanity not being in danger?
…Nevermind that, I moo’d at a few of them, trying to speak. They moo’d back, now I just needed to learn cow.

I was unlucky enough to see one of them excrete something, it was a glowing pile of ghost-cow dung. The grass around that spot grew up almost immediately. My next thought was about getting ghost-killing bullets, but I think those were outlawed when clinton was in office. Hillary wouldn’t have her kin slaughtered.

So what could I do about this? Well, I knew that ghosts were usually somehow attached to their bodies. I quickly got out my handy ghost-busters body-detector, and thanked myself for being such a nerd. Before I knew it I had found a body. Before I recognized I didn’t know it, I had found a dozen bodies.

By the end of the day, I had dug around long enough to have found, excavated, and removed countless cow corpses. My electromagnetic field detector had showed a decline in intensity for each body removed.

I wished I could drop all the bodies on the white house, but with all the corpses already in Washington I figured it would be redundant.

I stood on my deck, looking over my now cleansed lawn. I had dug the entire lawn up, just to make sure I didn’t miss any bodies. Didn’t want those cow-ghosts repopulating themselves. I certainly wouldn’t have to deal with the grass growing too fast anymore.

Pride was once a human inhibition, now it’s my natural inclination. But I deserve it, for being so awesome.
The funny thing is, Occam’s razor actually pointed at an improbability drive as the simpler answer…

This is a profound question, one question to which I don’t yet have a definitive answer.
I know the virtues and vexes of it. I know the words that define it, the emotions that help hold it together. For the words of wiser men tell me those.
But what is love? In a pure sense.

1 John 4:16
“God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them”

1 Corinthians 13:4 - 13:13
“Love is patient, love is kind, it is not envious. Love does not brag, it is not puffed up. It is not rude, it is not self-serving, it is not easily angered, or resentful. It is not glad about injustice, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes for all things, and endures all things.
Love never ends. But if there are prophecies, they will be set aside; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be set aside. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part, but when what is perfect comes, the partial will be set aside. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. But when I became an adult, I set aside childish ways. For now we see in a mirror indirectly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know in part, then I will know fully. Just as I have been fully known. And now these three remain: Faith, Hope, and Love. But the greatest of these is Love.”

So, I know all about love, how it is a choice, and dicision, a feeling, something you do, want, need, contain and yet outbreak in. An action, pertaining with a great desire to help somebody. It is done selflessly, but returns the greatest rewards.

This is all I know of it, having never been able to recognize it for myself.
That is my problem.

Well, another of my three elder sisters has gone off on her own…Well, not exactly.

Naomi went to Haiti, on a missions trip; She was not alone, albeit without all-that numerous companions, she did have a few. My aunt and cousin being two of them.

We will miss her, until she returns, and when she does there shall be great rejoicing and we shall slaughter the suckling pig.

Oh yea, I forgot to mention the gnashing of teeth, there will be some of that aswell.

Is absolutely awesome! I am soon to be upgraded to “Son, Brother, Uncle.”!

Go go Catie have-a-kid.

I am limited by my limitless choices. I am getting to the age where, through implied social activity, I am in need of currency. In order to get the said currency, I must work, and this is where my problem arrives, hurling itself upon my comfortable young life and completely disgruntling it.What am I to do? To live life for the sake of getting more things to live life better and get more things is such a vicious cycle. To live life for the sake of living life, although probably more conveniant and fun, would possibly damage other people, I can’t do that by choice, and besides it certainly would not be a comfortable life. So I need to find a middle-ground, I don’t want to live in the persuit of riches, and never have time to spend them, nor do I want to live lazily and have no riches to spend, although more time.

So what do I do, still? I live, work, eat, sleep, and spend as much of my free time as possible with the people that I care about most.

This of course is a complete misrepresentation of the real world, things cannot be expected to work out perfectly for an indefinate amount of time, but we strive to impose our idealist views of a perfect life upon others as much as possible, whether for pride or sanities sake, I know not.
Cynics would lead me to believe it to be for pride. The rest of the world sits quietly in its corner and ignores my other remarks. There is a strong case for cynicism, and no case for sanity, upon the small percentile of the population that I have had the inverted priviledge to be forced upon.

Oh, no, don’t get me wrong, I am not depressed, in fact I’m happier than ever, with the introduction of a few very important people into my life. But I refuse to not think about the things that bother me, I refuse to be a mindless lump of suburbial tissue on the surface of a planet that was built for intelligences gain.
I will bleed out my mind until everythings fine.

A vampire is a mythical creature(Or so they have convinced the public) that drinks the nector of our bodies, our blood. That is what it thrives upon, human blood. Vampires are notorious for having no image in a mirror, and enjoy being concealed.
They are immortal, or so is used the word. This means that they will not die of natural causes, they must be killed to be rid of. And that’s quite a task!

I write all of this, because I turn 16 this saturday, and yet I still feel young and vibrant!(Oh it is quite wonderful, to be so old but yet so young!) Yes, I did say 16, I know it’s amazing to have lived this long! I would bow to those reading, accepting their applaud and awe at my obvious clever intelligence, wearing the medal of age as proof of my wisdom, but alas I am sitting down, writing this, and you who are reading are not in view!